Where did that come from...

Holy Batman that was one heck of a good workout today! I feel amazing... however in 24 hours I may not be able to move!

I have been back to the gym since January... I have not lost a single pound... probably not even a single inch (not that pounds are the goal here... just mental health....but). I would like a bit of movement just so I know I am on the right track. I do have to clean up my eating ... not just for weight, but for health.

I have to say I feel positive and great. I am loving being back at the gym. Nothing clears my head better... a holiday might help too!

4am and reseaching how to help when your back is against the wall...

Yesterday was parent/teacher interviews. The girls (party girl and little ms amazing) did amazing as always.... perfect this, perfect that. My son (mr anxious), well he is having a hard time focusing when a project is given to him. Once he gets started he is off and gone... but the getting started is so painful! Poor kid. There is so little help out there for children with high anxiety and the teachers that teach them and the parents that love them.

We have taken courses, he has taken courses... we have brought specialists in. But unless the teacher gets anxiety... I mean gets it. Well, it just makes for a tough time for everyone.

I think this teacher gets it.... but with 27 children in a classroom all with different needs (some more then others) anxiety is gonna be flying no matter what anyone does (unless we fill the day with deep breathing and Yoga ... lol). Then I wonder am I being a bad parent not homeschooling him. The "professionals" say he needs public school.... he needs the social time.... he needs the different sights and noises.

He is such a bright kid... he knows more about stuff then I do. And I am super proud of how hard he works to keep his fears in place. I just wish I had more answers for him and for the teacher. I wish school could the same for him as it is for the girls....

Well I went and ran 3km today and then took an hour long walk with the golden! And now i have typed it... off to celebrate the great kid that only part of his personality has to do with anxiety... it is not who he is.

Is that watered down brown.... cause it looks like poo brown on my shirt...

I don't like the color of the kitchen cabinets... so now I will have to get it tinted darker. Really why did I not just buy a new house??? OH that is right because all the new houses were drug house at the time.

Perhaps my MIL will bring me coffee today! Yes that is my silver lining people... gggrrrr!

Control.... where is the control...

Reno hell.... need I say more. Tuesday will bring... sanding, washing... painting and more.

So when I run and I feel the back fat jiggle (either that or someone needs to tell me I have more boobs on my back).... it makes me eat more chocolate! I can't stop myself... intervention is needed here.

"Million roads I have to take..." no clue who sang that.... country I think.

So true, my hubby is a long haul truck driver... and he takes many roads to come home. It is funny the stigma that goes with being a trucker or a truckers wife. When I tell people what he does for a living it is surprising how many people say they are sorry. I would say 98% of all say sorry... and then there is the small 2% that say... aren't you lucky. Well this is what I think...

-trucking is a job... a job that can pay well.
-things always need to be trucked (praise God in this day and age)
- a way to sent your own hours and holidays
- your family can go with you
-distance makes the heart grow fonder
- we feel lonely at times
- sometimes I feel angry that I have to do most of the raising of the children
- we have learnt to be great comunitcators cause we talk so much on the phone
- not all truckers are fat
- not all truckers cheat... really, that seems very strange to type... since look at all the men and women cheating these days
- I would be just fine with any of my children being truckers
- there should be no shame in trucking
- good girlfriends are a must

I am blessed to have a hardworking trucken man that has a heart of gold! I am blessed to be able to stay home and raise our babies (even if I love 8pm as I tuck the last one in on crazy days). I am blessed to be married to a man that can talk to me on the phone for over 2 hours and still have more to say. I am blessed to have a husband that will take the million roads just to come and see me!

Really... I don't need sorrys... do I.