Today was a most interesting day. Not only was it the first time I left my kids (in school) in one town and drove 1.5 hours to another town, BUT it was also the first time I ever saw someone having sex on a sidewalk.
Big cities are nice to visit ... but I am sure glad our town is the size it is. The only reason why I went into the big city was to hang out with my baby brother that is (was) in the hospital. Well turns out it was a good thing I went, cause today they let him go home. His blood looked good, x-rays looked great and well to be very honest they needed the bed (I find that strange since the bed next to him was empty ... but whatever).
So after a very interesting day (I have never seen so many cracked out people in my life) I packed up my baby brother and brought him home (still in his hospital gown and a pair of flip flops).
It does kill me to see how skinny he has become and I look forward to fattening him up!
Many emotions running around my head.... but a big thank you to my girlfriend who picked up my babies and gave them a wonderful afternoon!
My brother wore the flip flops today!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Quick hello...
I really enjoyed my weekend away! Scrapping, eating and laughing. Not much sleep ... but who needs sleep when you only have to look after yourself. Not me.
This is my last week of doing daycare ... kinda sad cause I will miss the little man. However I am really excited about all the things I will be able to do once again. And the extra time I will have to volunteer in the kids school.
Well I shall blog more on Wednesday....
Flip flop out!
This is my last week of doing daycare ... kinda sad cause I will miss the little man. However I am really excited about all the things I will be able to do once again. And the extra time I will have to volunteer in the kids school.
Well I shall blog more on Wednesday....
Flip flop out!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Come on I was a kid too...
Lire, Lire pants on fire...
Oldest told a lie the other day. He said he finished his homework... folded it in half and put it in his backpack. Strange cause usually we put homework in his planner so it does not get crumpled up. So I say "Oldest ... why not put it in your planner as we always do" (the whole time thinking I am onto you buddy). Oldest says "ok", and brings homework (still folded) over to where I sit with his planner and hands it to me (the entire time looking into my eyes). I unfold the homework and say "But Oldest, you told me you were done and yet there is still one question to do? Did you lie to me?" Oldest comes clean as he sees his game is up.
So, I hand down the punishment.... ONE MONTH NO PLAY DATES, NO TV AND NO VIDEO GAMES.
I now realize I just punished myself! Ain't parenting grand!
Flip flop is gone for a much needed girls weekend of scrapping and shopping! Peace out...
Oldest told a lie the other day. He said he finished his homework... folded it in half and put it in his backpack. Strange cause usually we put homework in his planner so it does not get crumpled up. So I say "Oldest ... why not put it in your planner as we always do" (the whole time thinking I am onto you buddy). Oldest says "ok", and brings homework (still folded) over to where I sit with his planner and hands it to me (the entire time looking into my eyes). I unfold the homework and say "But Oldest, you told me you were done and yet there is still one question to do? Did you lie to me?" Oldest comes clean as he sees his game is up.
So, I hand down the punishment.... ONE MONTH NO PLAY DATES, NO TV AND NO VIDEO GAMES.
I now realize I just punished myself! Ain't parenting grand!
Flip flop is gone for a much needed girls weekend of scrapping and shopping! Peace out...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Pardon me while I wipe my nose, you big hunk of burning love...
My brother is done his surgery. Took longer then expected ... but all is well. They took out around 1.5 feet of intestine. I can't wait for him to feel better and for a quality of a good life to return.
Big Daddy is such a pig. It does not matter what I have on, my nose could be running, food all over me, my hair not done ... and dude still wants a little action. This at times can drive me nuts ... mostly when I am deathly ill and would rather stab myself then have one more person touch me. However in speaking with a girlfriend of mine (well actually MSNing ... so I should say typing) I realized that not all guys are like that.
I am rather shocked by this finding ... cause all my other girlfriends hubbies are the same way. They want their wives no matter what. But I do have a small circle of very sick friends! (love ya all ... you know you are all sick)
So then what happened ... was the hubby always like that I wonder (I could never ask as I don't know her that well) or is this something that happens cause a guy or girl gets board? It it regarding looks or is it all emotional? (one need not being met, leads to another)
And what happens when both of them are not being met in some way??? Could this send them down the world to cheating. And look how many people cheat on their partners ... the numbers are insane. " About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey"
It is amazing how complex we humans are. And I wonder why there is not push by some to fix the issues (like the girl I was chatting to) before cheating among other things start happening. IS it cause you are in it that you can't see the path before you????
So after chatting with my friend she ended her chat with "be thankful he comes home and wants you no matter what ... rejection sucks". Well point taken... next time I feel like crap (mommy is only allowed to be sick once a year) and want to curl up and died ... I will put getting laid and meeting his emotional needs, before curling up and dieing .... lmao!
Flip flops out...
Big Daddy is such a pig. It does not matter what I have on, my nose could be running, food all over me, my hair not done ... and dude still wants a little action. This at times can drive me nuts ... mostly when I am deathly ill and would rather stab myself then have one more person touch me. However in speaking with a girlfriend of mine (well actually MSNing ... so I should say typing) I realized that not all guys are like that.
I am rather shocked by this finding ... cause all my other girlfriends hubbies are the same way. They want their wives no matter what. But I do have a small circle of very sick friends! (love ya all ... you know you are all sick)
So then what happened ... was the hubby always like that I wonder (I could never ask as I don't know her that well) or is this something that happens cause a guy or girl gets board? It it regarding looks or is it all emotional? (one need not being met, leads to another)
And what happens when both of them are not being met in some way??? Could this send them down the world to cheating. And look how many people cheat on their partners ... the numbers are insane. " About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate is even higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC.com/iVillage Lust, Love & Loyalty survey"
It is amazing how complex we humans are. And I wonder why there is not push by some to fix the issues (like the girl I was chatting to) before cheating among other things start happening. IS it cause you are in it that you can't see the path before you????
So after chatting with my friend she ended her chat with "be thankful he comes home and wants you no matter what ... rejection sucks". Well point taken... next time I feel like crap (mommy is only allowed to be sick once a year) and want to curl up and died ... I will put getting laid and meeting his emotional needs, before curling up and dieing .... lmao!
Flip flops out...
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Feeling Freaky Friday ....
Here is the issue people .... and also what color should I paint my living room? (traded flip flops for the boots with the furrrrr today)
I had the coolest moment ever today.
I was volunteering in my middle child's class this morning. They were working on creative writing. Their wonderful teacher had come up with the cutest idea of making little "creative shields" so that their work was private. (basically poster board cut in half and folded into a cubical) Anywho, there was this little guy in the class that some days just has a hard time getting down to it ... but today he was all over this writing project. He was the only child sounding out his words out loud... at times he would stand ... then sit ... then stand .... man the little man was working hard. So, I walked over and told him he was ON FIRE TODAY. He looked at me with the biggest smile ... you could see the pride in his eyes. But the best part for me was .... 20 minutes later he was still writing (wow). He looked up at his teacher when she said it was time to stop and he said "I AM ON FIRE"! Man it was so super cute. Pride was just oozing off this kid. What a wonderful thing to witness today.
And people ask why I volunteer so much! Crazy not to!
Have a great weekend all. I am off to pick up (wink wink) BIG DADDY!
Andrea with the flip flops/boots with the furrrrrr
I was volunteering in my middle child's class this morning. They were working on creative writing. Their wonderful teacher had come up with the cutest idea of making little "creative shields" so that their work was private. (basically poster board cut in half and folded into a cubical) Anywho, there was this little guy in the class that some days just has a hard time getting down to it ... but today he was all over this writing project. He was the only child sounding out his words out loud... at times he would stand ... then sit ... then stand .... man the little man was working hard. So, I walked over and told him he was ON FIRE TODAY. He looked at me with the biggest smile ... you could see the pride in his eyes. But the best part for me was .... 20 minutes later he was still writing (wow). He looked up at his teacher when she said it was time to stop and he said "I AM ON FIRE"! Man it was so super cute. Pride was just oozing off this kid. What a wonderful thing to witness today.
And people ask why I volunteer so much! Crazy not to!
Have a great weekend all. I am off to pick up (wink wink) BIG DADDY!
Andrea with the flip flops/boots with the furrrrrr
Thursday, October 16, 2008
too much coffee ... and a whole lot in my head...
I love my Mom. She is a wonderful person. We are very different people, and this makes it difficult at times to be close. (we are only 18 yrs apart)
I crave a closer relationship, but it is what it is. And I am sure my relationship with her is better then many mother/daughter relationships... but I would like more. I have been honest with her and told her what I would like. But the whole way we take life always seems to disconnect the connection. I am a doer and she is a viewer. (both are right ... just different)
____________________
Big Daddy is on his way home, after being gone since Monday morning. I am so excited. I always have to have my guard up and keep moving while he is gone ... but when he comes home he shelters me from things and really I like that at this point in my life. Man I use to be such a strong person ... but I sure see how nice it is to have someone fending for you in life. I am so blessed to have such a great husband. (a little action is in order) LOL!
______________________
I will be done with my little daycare guy at the end of this month. Due to everything going on in our life at the moment. A great friend of mine is taking him ... she will be able to do all the fun things that he deserves to do. So as of November I will start volunteering more in the children's school and take a bit more time for myself. This way I can know if there are stressers in school happening and also so I have more to give my own children at the end of the day.
______________________
Had a little "discussion" today with LA lady at my children's school. First I must say my son is having a GREAT year (amazing teachers). The teachers are very happy and the only thing he needs to work on is organization. Really that is so funny to me .... CAUSE HE IS NINE. LOL. However we shall train our 9 year old BOY how to be more organized and celebrate that his anxieties are becoming less and less.
Now back to what I was going to say ... lol... man my brain is everywhere today.... too much coffee ... Well I was reading the report from the meeting (I had one this week) and it has miss quoted me twice in it. One time even making it look like I think there is more wrong with my child. HELLO ... HOLD THE BUS PEOPLE ... I sure as heck never said that... and I don't think that. So where the heck did that come from. So I asked kindly if they (the school) feels there is more wrong... cause my ped, family doctor and MENTAL HEALTH feel he has mild anxiety and with help he should do just fine. (have to have should in there cause anxiety is not something that will go away, you are just given better coping skills .... but we must also note that anxiety is not who my child is... it is just one little part of his personality) Well the LA lady asked me if maybe I did not make myself clear ... lol. So now for the record I made myself perfectly clear! My child is going through an anxious season in his life... end of story. Life goes on.
Why is it that when I am all wishy washy I don't feel bad, but when I speak the truth and don't get pushed into things I feel bad for saying anything. I was not rude ... I did not raise my voice ...
Is it that I have an issue with speak up to teachers ... lol. How many of us are still afraid to go to the Principals office .... lol. We are all just people ...
Anywho she was very kind and called me back. Turns out they will be removing those lines from the report. She felt my child was doing very well and the over all tone for the meeting was very positive.
Yes I agree it was a positive meeting and this is why I was so surprised by the two lines in the report. But now I have made myself clear on where I stand on these issues ... perhaps I just was not clear enough cause I was afraid to hurt anyone's feelings .... but what about my child ... I can't keep going through my kids school life afraid I will upset a teacher or whoever ....
I do realize that anxiety as a label gets NO FUNDING... and that is wrong.
_____________
Well off to pick up my babies. Thanks for the vent. Did I mention my hubby is coming home!!!!
I crave a closer relationship, but it is what it is. And I am sure my relationship with her is better then many mother/daughter relationships... but I would like more. I have been honest with her and told her what I would like. But the whole way we take life always seems to disconnect the connection. I am a doer and she is a viewer. (both are right ... just different)
____________________
Big Daddy is on his way home, after being gone since Monday morning. I am so excited. I always have to have my guard up and keep moving while he is gone ... but when he comes home he shelters me from things and really I like that at this point in my life. Man I use to be such a strong person ... but I sure see how nice it is to have someone fending for you in life. I am so blessed to have such a great husband. (a little action is in order) LOL!
______________________
I will be done with my little daycare guy at the end of this month. Due to everything going on in our life at the moment. A great friend of mine is taking him ... she will be able to do all the fun things that he deserves to do. So as of November I will start volunteering more in the children's school and take a bit more time for myself. This way I can know if there are stressers in school happening and also so I have more to give my own children at the end of the day.
______________________
Had a little "discussion" today with LA lady at my children's school. First I must say my son is having a GREAT year (amazing teachers). The teachers are very happy and the only thing he needs to work on is organization. Really that is so funny to me .... CAUSE HE IS NINE. LOL. However we shall train our 9 year old BOY how to be more organized and celebrate that his anxieties are becoming less and less.
Now back to what I was going to say ... lol... man my brain is everywhere today.... too much coffee ... Well I was reading the report from the meeting (I had one this week) and it has miss quoted me twice in it. One time even making it look like I think there is more wrong with my child. HELLO ... HOLD THE BUS PEOPLE ... I sure as heck never said that... and I don't think that. So where the heck did that come from. So I asked kindly if they (the school) feels there is more wrong... cause my ped, family doctor and MENTAL HEALTH feel he has mild anxiety and with help he should do just fine. (have to have should in there cause anxiety is not something that will go away, you are just given better coping skills .... but we must also note that anxiety is not who my child is... it is just one little part of his personality) Well the LA lady asked me if maybe I did not make myself clear ... lol. So now for the record I made myself perfectly clear! My child is going through an anxious season in his life... end of story. Life goes on.
Why is it that when I am all wishy washy I don't feel bad, but when I speak the truth and don't get pushed into things I feel bad for saying anything. I was not rude ... I did not raise my voice ...
Is it that I have an issue with speak up to teachers ... lol. How many of us are still afraid to go to the Principals office .... lol. We are all just people ...
Anywho she was very kind and called me back. Turns out they will be removing those lines from the report. She felt my child was doing very well and the over all tone for the meeting was very positive.
Yes I agree it was a positive meeting and this is why I was so surprised by the two lines in the report. But now I have made myself clear on where I stand on these issues ... perhaps I just was not clear enough cause I was afraid to hurt anyone's feelings .... but what about my child ... I can't keep going through my kids school life afraid I will upset a teacher or whoever ....
I do realize that anxiety as a label gets NO FUNDING... and that is wrong.
_____________
Well off to pick up my babies. Thanks for the vent. Did I mention my hubby is coming home!!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Love or Lust ... does it matter ....
I have always been a calender girl ... no not in them ... lol... I have no sugar Daddy to fix up these stretch marks ... lol. I have always lived by the calendar. But this year I turned over a new leaf and went with a hot pink day timer. My cheap $4 daytime has converted me!
Speaking of Sugar Daddies ... I was watching Much Music, and they did a show on Sugar Daddies. Are these people real? One girl grew up with the guys daughter and now the sugar daddy is with this young girl ... who I must add is 39 years younger then him.
And what about Larry King ... man that girl does deserve to have all those homes. They were even married for almost 10 years ... and had 2 kids! Sounds like they did better then some of the people that are close in age ...
So is it love or lust ...
Heck maybe I should have married for money ... then this whole issue of where to put the tree would not be, cause I would have 15 other rooms to choose from! Darn morals!
Flip flop away...
Speaking of Sugar Daddies ... I was watching Much Music, and they did a show on Sugar Daddies. Are these people real? One girl grew up with the guys daughter and now the sugar daddy is with this young girl ... who I must add is 39 years younger then him.
And what about Larry King ... man that girl does deserve to have all those homes. They were even married for almost 10 years ... and had 2 kids! Sounds like they did better then some of the people that are close in age ...
So is it love or lust ...
Heck maybe I should have married for money ... then this whole issue of where to put the tree would not be, cause I would have 15 other rooms to choose from! Darn morals!
Flip flop away...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Small, but you try sleeping in a room with one...
I have a slight addiction... beyond even the chocolate addiction I have perfected... I Andrea with the Flip Flops have an addiction to moving my furniture around every 3 months. To me this does not seem like a big deal. (there has to be others out there) I think three months is a long time ... and I am not hurting anyone ... and and I just have to.
So this weekend (do to all the issue going on) Big Daddy went and purchased us a home theater system. (retail therapy for the entire family) Well now this tv is on my wall... and do to its size ... what the heck am I going to do in 3 months!!!! Where the heck am I going to put my Christmas tree.... the mother of all trees. It always goes in my Living room. But now my Living room has apparently become a theater.... where nothing can move ... and a Christmas tree has no home! Do you hear the panic in my typing. People these are real issues.... never mind all the issues of yesterday... we pretend those don't exist on a regular basis... lol.
Yes, the living room looks NICE (nice for you know having young kids that will wreck anything in their path)... but in 3 months I will be board of the look and want to change it... and then I will see the tv ... and it will drive me nuts. Like a mosquito in your room at night (just try falling asleep with the thing buzzing). Just a small thing ... but it can sure bug the heck out of ya! (no pun intended here folks)
So when the end of November hits I will be posting a picture of my living room and I will be asking for help as to where to put my almost dead Christmas tree.
Andrea with the Flip Flops
So this weekend (do to all the issue going on) Big Daddy went and purchased us a home theater system. (retail therapy for the entire family) Well now this tv is on my wall... and do to its size ... what the heck am I going to do in 3 months!!!! Where the heck am I going to put my Christmas tree.... the mother of all trees. It always goes in my Living room. But now my Living room has apparently become a theater.... where nothing can move ... and a Christmas tree has no home! Do you hear the panic in my typing. People these are real issues.... never mind all the issues of yesterday... we pretend those don't exist on a regular basis... lol.
Yes, the living room looks NICE (nice for you know having young kids that will wreck anything in their path)... but in 3 months I will be board of the look and want to change it... and then I will see the tv ... and it will drive me nuts. Like a mosquito in your room at night (just try falling asleep with the thing buzzing). Just a small thing ... but it can sure bug the heck out of ya! (no pun intended here folks)
So when the end of November hits I will be posting a picture of my living room and I will be asking for help as to where to put my almost dead Christmas tree.
Andrea with the Flip Flops
Monday, October 13, 2008
When it rains ... it friggen well dumps ...
Thank you Deb! I have been through hell in the last week ... and well after a not so lovely trip there, I am happy to be back. And what a nice way to return to my blogging journey.
Here is the little piece of hell we have called our lives ...
My brother was put back in the hospital for his crohnes... much sicker then before and weighing in at 134lbs (he is just over 6 ft). He is so sick they can not even operate on him. He has tubes going in just above his elbow, up his arm to his heart. This is so he can be nourished and well of course for if his heart needs a little pick me up shot. He can not eat ... can not drink ... my brother is starving ... lets hope not to death. He has a spot on October 21st to have part of his intestines taken out to give him a break from all the pain and hopefully return his quality of life. Not to mention having a life!
My middle child has started twitching (maybe a tic disorder ... could be anxiety). Nobody knows anything. We have to wait til November 3 to get into a ped. I don't know much on this subject and at this point we are just being ... what can you do other then lower her stress level. Well with everything going on ... lol.
My mother was in a bad car accident ... she will be ok. The car is toast... and since the car is fully paid for that kinda sucks. She is off work for the next week and then from there the doctors will figure out when she can go back.
My grandmother took a turn for the worse ... and then in 5 days turned herself around and is doing great! Crazy.
Wow seeing that all down sucks. But I choose to look up. Things will get better, I will play my music louder and I again will gain a smile on this face. I will stop holding my breath...
AND I WILL DANCE IN THE RAIN WITH MY FLIP FLOPS ON... because at least I am alive to feel the sadness, happiness and everything in between! One day at a time and nothing more...
Here is the little piece of hell we have called our lives ...
My brother was put back in the hospital for his crohnes... much sicker then before and weighing in at 134lbs (he is just over 6 ft). He is so sick they can not even operate on him. He has tubes going in just above his elbow, up his arm to his heart. This is so he can be nourished and well of course for if his heart needs a little pick me up shot. He can not eat ... can not drink ... my brother is starving ... lets hope not to death. He has a spot on October 21st to have part of his intestines taken out to give him a break from all the pain and hopefully return his quality of life. Not to mention having a life!
My middle child has started twitching (maybe a tic disorder ... could be anxiety). Nobody knows anything. We have to wait til November 3 to get into a ped. I don't know much on this subject and at this point we are just being ... what can you do other then lower her stress level. Well with everything going on ... lol.
My mother was in a bad car accident ... she will be ok. The car is toast... and since the car is fully paid for that kinda sucks. She is off work for the next week and then from there the doctors will figure out when she can go back.
My grandmother took a turn for the worse ... and then in 5 days turned herself around and is doing great! Crazy.
Wow seeing that all down sucks. But I choose to look up. Things will get better, I will play my music louder and I again will gain a smile on this face. I will stop holding my breath...
AND I WILL DANCE IN THE RAIN WITH MY FLIP FLOPS ON... because at least I am alive to feel the sadness, happiness and everything in between! One day at a time and nothing more...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
We can all change...
All the hard work we have all put in for helping our oldest go through a very anxious season in his life has now started paying off daily. Every day he surprises us with one huge gain or another. I don't kid myself, we have days that are tough ... where by the end of the school day his ability to keep all his emotions in check start wearing down and the smallest thing as he is leaves the classroom can set him off. However that being said .... dude is doing great. Anxious moments are becoming farther and fewer between. I am just shocked, completely shocked to have the child I have today. I could never have thought he would just gain this confidence and coping skills (that I must say most adults don't even have) at such a young age!
Anxiety can be a very lonely walk ... however we have always been very open about the Anxiety that our child has had and he also has been open about it. Letting him know that the Anxiety is not him ... it is just a worry dragon and with some training you could kick that Worry Dragon right off this planet! Gotta say that has really done us well. I can't wait to see what this year brings.
A few months ago we caught him counciling his uncle on how to tame his worry dragon. My brother looked at me and said "that kid is good" .... I can see already that the training our little man has had will go to good use for others via him sharing his stories!
One proud Mamma!
Anxiety can be a very lonely walk ... however we have always been very open about the Anxiety that our child has had and he also has been open about it. Letting him know that the Anxiety is not him ... it is just a worry dragon and with some training you could kick that Worry Dragon right off this planet! Gotta say that has really done us well. I can't wait to see what this year brings.
A few months ago we caught him counciling his uncle on how to tame his worry dragon. My brother looked at me and said "that kid is good" .... I can see already that the training our little man has had will go to good use for others via him sharing his stories!
One proud Mamma!
Friday, October 3, 2008
silence .... not good for everyone...
I love the quiet of the house. When there is quiet I can really tell how loud our salt water tank is, I can tell silence makes my ears ring and I can tell I don't get enough time to just stop and think.
Today my mind was wondering.... and I realized that thank goodness we could not read each others minds. How bad would that be to have a big sign above you head that read just what you thought of someone (your mind reading banner). I would be sitting there thinking, don't think anything, don't think anything ... oh darn ... yes your ass does look nasty in those jeans .... doh! Or it could be the opposite and you could be like all .... wow he is HOT... just want 10 minutes with him ... Oh dear did my husband just read my mind reading banner .... doh!
I want to be a good person. I want to be kind to most people. But sometimes this nasty side comes out... and I try and push her down ... (really my evil twin should have a name)
So I just keep thinking "face to the sunshine".... hold your head high girl. IF someone is going to prosper off things I work on in my life (challenges) ... well I am sure that will not go unnoticed. And inside can they really live with who they are... do they not feel bad?
Again I put my "face to the sunshine", refusing to believe that the bad people, the nasty people in life don't come out ahead. No, I must stay my course... but why when you look around does it always look like they are getting ahead?
Andrea
Today my mind was wondering.... and I realized that thank goodness we could not read each others minds. How bad would that be to have a big sign above you head that read just what you thought of someone (your mind reading banner). I would be sitting there thinking, don't think anything, don't think anything ... oh darn ... yes your ass does look nasty in those jeans .... doh! Or it could be the opposite and you could be like all .... wow he is HOT... just want 10 minutes with him ... Oh dear did my husband just read my mind reading banner .... doh!
I want to be a good person. I want to be kind to most people. But sometimes this nasty side comes out... and I try and push her down ... (really my evil twin should have a name)
So I just keep thinking "face to the sunshine".... hold your head high girl. IF someone is going to prosper off things I work on in my life (challenges) ... well I am sure that will not go unnoticed. And inside can they really live with who they are... do they not feel bad?
Again I put my "face to the sunshine", refusing to believe that the bad people, the nasty people in life don't come out ahead. No, I must stay my course... but why when you look around does it always look like they are getting ahead?
Andrea
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